A Proofless Crime
Flashing. An ambiguous word, colloquial even, with even more obscurity around it. Not quite having a universal word for the act of flashing might lead you to believe that it is a rare phenomenon. Thinking that would be misguided. But not completely invalid because it is not something we talk about, “even to our girl friends,” R* tells me.
R, 26 from Andheri, Mumbai was flashed and stalked by Omar in a crowded market. Her reaction was to scream and call attention to it. She managed to alert the people around her but couldn’t go through with calling the police for the fear of having to explain what happened in the market to her parents.
P was in middle school. A middle-aged man sat in his Maruti van at the gates of her school waiting for young girls to come astray and gesture them toward the van. When she was flashed at by this man, her reaction was fear.
J recounts three different instances from the ages of 7 years, 12 years, and 21 years. All three incidents horrific, a particularly troubling one is the story of being flashed at in her college. When J decided that after a life of being shown unsolicited dick pics, irl, she was ready to make an official complaint to the police. The Director of her college reprimanded her for using the name of the institution. The students made fun of her, with the usual jabs of, “What were you wearing?” Her reaction was anger.
Contrary to common understanding eve teasing is not a causal wrongdoing and should most certainly not be treated as one. Women need not and should not suffer in silence
– Pallavi Rabinathan Dugar
I am 26. I live in a beautiful terrace studio. I love the sunsets here.
I was flashed at by a man from the terrace of the third house from mine on the 8th of November, 2020. My reaction was confusion, then anger, then horror. In the frenzy of the moment the only thought I had on my mind was how do I get this man to pull up his pants back up. Would my screaming and clear disinterest in his advances do it? It didn’t. So I pulled out my phone and made it look like I was taking pictures of him. That did it. And I did take a picture but not as fast as he managed to pull his pants up. Now I just have a picture of a topless man smirking in my direction, with a defiance in his eyes that seems to say, “What are you going to do about it?”
If this comment section is to be believed, I have no proof, hence no case. The truth is, most, if not all, cases of eve teasing lack evidence. The witnesses are sparse, of course, because the perpetrator is usually looking for opportunities to find the victim alone. The victim, as shocked and horrified as they are, are usually unable to document the episode. And for that precise reason flashing is a cognisable offence. This means that the police can arrest the accused without a warrant. To know which sections of the IPC protect you and prosecute your very own flasher, head here.
A very peculiar word is used in case of flashing — “confusion”. The victim is often confused as to why this person wants to expose themselves. The crime isn’t as direct and single minded as rape or groping. The exhibitionism is confusing. The ambiguity features here again. Creating a very toxic grey area for those who are not ready to believe the victim. My usage of “the victim” here is a failed attempt at distancing myself from a very real threat that is flashing and show you the real face and discourse of it all.
But, I can’t because I am the said victim. A victim who has fallen prey to rampant cyber bullying because of the aforementioned toxic grey area where the intentions of the eve teaser are urged upon with humane questioning and the victim is called a liar.
At what point does it stop being the right of a person to express in nudity and become an offence against the other person. The answer, for me, is very simple. When the act threatens my safety and modesty. When it leaves me shaking. When it leaves a 7 year old crying.
This isn’t about the politic of faith in the survivor. Not for me. Nor the police that acted on my behalf, for whom I reiterated the events of the day as precisely and as many number of times as they asked. For it is important to be pointed in the cases of eve teasing. They will tell you that it is just, “your word against his.” But that is not true. The details of your story, all corroborating pictures and people matter in building this case. It is not your word against his, it is your personhood against his perpetration.
The details of the discourse a victim needs are in place, but sadly in most cases that isn’t enough for one to report this proofless crime. I imagine it is because of what comes after. The collective experience of the Indian woman will tell you that we do not know what comes after the anger, the frustration. I am here to paint a picture for you. What comes after is phone calls from concerned relatives to leave the city. Well-meaning folks alluding to maybe your outfit having something to do with it. What comes after is shame. Why did he choose you?
And then, if you are a person of the internet, comes threats, disbelief, debates and discourses around your lived experiences without regard to you as a person. It is taxing, explaining to your parents why you are being bullied when you are the victim. Because a visible victim is an easy target. You’re a face to a crime people refuse to acknowledge, forget reporting.
This isn’t a story of courage or happy endings. This is the final paragraph but this is not where I tell you that things gets better, because they don’t. When you hear people say, “things will change in time,” realize that it is a lie. Things don’t change in time. Things change in people. “Things” claim victims before they change. I beg you, report the crime, draw attention, scream, curse, make yourself visible, make a social media post even if it seems futile at that moment. Make a scene.
Make a fucking scene.
*Names are hidden to protect privacy.
If you are facing harassment online, please seek help here.
If you are a victim of eve teasing or flashing, report to the police at 100 as soon as possible. There are no functioning immediate helplines that currently provide support in this matter.
